I’ll be honest: I don’t know what I want to make. No idea.
But here’s what I do know: when I make that thing, I will release an amazing promotional video. In my promotional video, nerdy-looking white guys will overuse their hands to describe just how different my product is from other products.
I’ll make sure that my white guys talk in a way that allows me to intercut their sentences, resulting in a feel-good jumble that doesn’t say much but really conveys a sense of deep innovation.
My guys are probably going to be sick to death of innovating all over the place. Sorry team, that’s what we do!
I’ll commission Coldplay’s Chris Martin to write a score for ukulele, toy piano, and 300-piece orchestra.
Gotta run: the sun is setting, gonna go capture some ambiguously ethnic ladies giggling as they show my device to their friends. On the beach. Through the pine trees. Lens flare.
Pictured above: Google’s Hugo Barra, just about to say “biggest.”
Hurry up and make that thing. I’m sold.