December 2009
“I suppose that’s a major theme of this decade that has just been: the failure of companies to give the consumers what they want, which in turn has resulted in a culture where illegality, piracy and hacking is the norm.”
—ck/ck: The Sound Of My Head Banging Against The Wall
Pun-ctuation
Via Futility Closet:
Mr. McNair was a man of few words, and wrote to his nephew at Pittsburg the following laconic letter:
Dear Nephew,
;
To which the nephew replied by return of mail:
Dear Uncle,
:
The long of this short was, that the uncle wrote to his nephew, ‘See my coal on,’ which a se-mi-col-on expressed; and the youngster informed his uncle that the coal was shipped, by simply saying, col-on.
From Harper’s New Monthly Magazine, June 1855.
“Violating years of precedent, I moved our logo from the top left corner of our website to the top center. Six people died.”
—Remiel
“If you bet a friend that your watch will never stop ticking, when could you declare victory?”
—The Halting Problem, from Who Can Name the Bigger Number?
“I certainly don’t use [Pianist] that often, but it makes me feel warm and comfy to know there’s a keyboard within reach at all times. Is that cheesy? Yeah, it’s cheesy. But if having a keyboard on my Home screen and piano tie around my neck for even the least formal of gatherings is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.”
—Adam Lisagor
“Good night, sweet Artist Formerly Known As.”
—rstevens
THERE. IS. NO. PAGE. FOLD. →
thereisnopagefold.com
OKAY???
Via brocatus & nikography:
this makes me so happy.
i have had people ask me if it’s ok “to have to scroll on a webpage”.yes, it’s ok. it’s highly encouraged.
scrolling is fucking AWESOME.
Juniors Jam
Goatsnake
Goatsnake – Juniors Jam
This day needs loud music. Here is loud music with… harmonica?
[See also: cowbell.]
“It’s like Tumblr has two development teams—one for awesome users and one for hipsters.”
—Cosmo Catalano
“FUCK. I JUST STARTED THIS BLOG THIRTY SECONDS AGO AND IT’S ALREADY GOT A TUMBLARITY OF THREE. SO MUCH PRESSURE.”
—LANGER HAS RAGE BLACKOUTS
Nin Na Yama
OOIOO
OOIOO – Nin Na Yama
“When I first heard Burning Witch, I laughed. And then I did not.”
—Aaron Turner (in the liner notes for Crippled Lucifer)
“Whether you choose to write on the stupidity of advertising, the curve of your true love’s buttocks, the folly of war or the irritation of not being able to open a pickle jar is unimportant.”
—Stephen Fry, in The Ode Less Travelled
“Technically, you’re already a cyborg. If you keep your cell phone with you most of the time, especially if the earpiece is in place, I think we can call that arrangement an exobrain.”
—Dilbert Pocket
Play
I can’t even begin to tell you how DONE I am with this whole nerd tradition of naming programming languages or frameworks after things the nerds responsible for maintaining them happen to enjoy. Take the examples of Python (so named for its inventor’s love of “Monty Python”), or Django (read: Django Reinhardt), or Hadoop (named for the lead developer’s child’s stuffed elephant), or Go (short for ‘Google’, whose employees quite like themselves), or Rails (a result of the community’s shared enjoyment of sadism).
All day long I have to work with technologies named to reflect the enjoyments and idiosyncrasies of OTHER nerds and I’ve had about enough of it (seriously, one more word about “unladen swallow” and I’m liable to snap).
So I’m going to set myself to building my own suite of tools—a programming language, a data store, and a web framework—which will be named for things that I enjoy and they’ll be engineered to be the best the industry’s ever seen so that everyone will have to use them and they’ll be named, respectively, Paris Hilton, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga, and YOU’RE ALL JUST GOING TO HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL.
What’s your long-tail strategy for this? Friendly advice: MeshuggahBeans will seriously help you leverage the full power of the Goatsnake On Rails framework. Invest in some Pig Destroyer infrastructure to stabilize modular SUNN O))) .NET scalability. Let’s touch base.
