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With the Ambush at Prayer Time posters coming out pretty soon, it’s the perfect time to watch some people claw over one another’s fresh corpses in the noble endeavor to win some terrible prizes. […] All you have to do is illustrate one single post from the Twitter account I use. Just pick any single post, from the most recent to the very first one, and then pull it screaming into visual reality using whatever illustrative means you’ve got.

Submit as many pieces as you want, so long as you’re not just crapping them out. And if you’re crapping them out, make them amazing. So far most of the submissions are on the “amusingly terrible” side, so take your time and put some effort into it, you goddamn slobs.

Spot on. (via nostrich)

Hamlet thinks Ophelia might be happier in a convent.

Ophelia removed “moody princes” from her interests.

All procrastinators put off things they have to do. Structured procrastination is the art of making this bad trait work for you. The key idea is that procrastinating does not mean doing absolutely nothing.

Procrastinators seldom do absolutely nothing; they do marginally useful things, like gardening or sharpening pencils or making a diagram of how they will reorganize their files when they get around to it.

Why does the procrastinator do these things? Because they are a way of not doing something more important. If all the procrastinator had left to do was to sharpen some pencils, no force on earth could get him do it. However, the procrastinator can be motivated to do difficult, timely and important tasks, as long as these tasks are a way of not doing something more important.

(via saramcpherson)

For many years, Mr. Ralph Hull, the famous card wizard from Crooksville, Ohio, has completely bewildered not only the general public, but also amateur conjurors, card connoisseurs and professional magicians with the series of card tricks which he is pleased to call The Tuned Deck. […]

Like much great magic, the trick is over before you even realize the trick has begun. The trick, in its entirety, is in the name of the trick, The Tuned Deck, and more specifically, in one word The.

(via Big Contrarian)

A New Zealand judge has ordered a name change for an embarrassed nine-year-old girl called ‘Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii’.

(via travors)

The speed reader assumes that reading twice as fast makes him twice as productive. The best speed readers are so good that they can read a book by simply farting in its general direction. And they’ll even score 60% or better on a comprehension test while the smell lingers patiently in the air.

Of course, a reader who thinks that doubling his reading speed makes him twice as productive is like a programmer who thinks that doubling his typing speed will halve the amount of time he takes to finish a project.

Effective reading is not measured by how fast you can vacuum words off a page. It’s measured by how well you integrate new ideas into existing conceptual frameworks, and how you use those ideas to do things you haven’t done before.

(via travors)

Mari Kimura is a New York composer and virtuoso violinist whose music includes haunting low notes on the violin called ‘subharmonics.’ … Problem is, these sounds aren’t supposed to be possible.

(via merkin)

Eric Isaacson’s A86 assembler includes a great little feature that I’ve never seen in another language: the suffix ‘K’ to indicate kilobytes in numeric literals. For example, you can say ‘16K’ instead of ‘16384’. How many times have you seen C code like this:

char Buffer[512 * 1024];

The ‘* 1024’ is so common, and so clunky in comparison with:

char Buffer[512K];